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"SLOW FIRE VOLUME 4"

The First To Say I Love You

You were the first to say "I love you." It was kind of soon, and he felt rushed. You always kept the roof above you. He couldnít pay after his trust ran out. The pictures of your wedding day, they line the hallway in your house. He always knew just what to say. You tried to be the perfect spouse. Oh, I miss your kiss so feathery and our nights of shameless debauchery. I might feel like this for a thousand years and never, never let you know. Oh I canít believe youíve come to this, and I just canít see what fun it is for you and me to pretend to be the best of buds forever and ever, amen.

Elaborate dreams, gut-wrenching dreams. Not what they seem. I will never be clean again.

 

The Cellar Ghost

I've got a thing about people who lose. I've found a way to never have to choose between hurting the old and hurting the new. I can always do both. It's like a talent you didn't know I had when we need it most. And- surprise!- it's there. 

And every thoughtless word becomes a crutch, becomes a blood-red bird that you can touch. And all the days get slow, become a belt around my neck, the cards you dealt. When your every move is on fire, it's easy to forget what a liar I am. Hang it out to dry, this poor excuse. You're asking the wrong guy. I never knew whose it was. No, don't you apologize. When will you realize what I've done? Oh could you forgive again? We have to, a perfect blend of our faults. 

I've got a thing about people who lose. I've found a way to never have to choose between hurting the old and hurting the new. I can always do both. It's like a talent you didn't know I had when we need it most. And- surprise!- it's there. 


Secrets IV


First Light

Your leash is short and forever out of play. Six months doesn't seem that long to me. It's like a sport and forever in the way. Six months doesn't mean that much to me. And I could say what has always been on my lips. The seasons don't take notice of me. And you one day as the earth around you slips, will know not to trust what you see. 

On the eastern side, in the rolling fields, as the grass subsides and the woods reveal, can't you wait any longer? Can't you wait? If I trust you now and the needle stings, if I take the bow and I grow the wings, will you stay any longer? Will you stay?

 

House Arrest

Look before you take a step straight into a spider web. It's not your hardest work you're breaking up. Calling out when you see friends who are never acting free. It's not your careful hope that's stacking up. So what are we supposed to do? We're left aside watching you as you grasp at nothing, as you drown. And if I save myself as you slip under, what will I have left as I'm on house arrest? And if I pay no mind to all their thunder, where will I end up? The worst kind of club. 

Did you know that every day, though I'm still embarrassed to say, you're my first thought when I wake up? Please don't ever ask me why I can't ever help but sigh when I see you. Will you turn up? And if I save myself as you slip under, what will I have left as I'm on house arrest? And if I pay no mind to all their thunder, where will I end up? The worst kind of club. Taking one last look around this house that saw us pulled apart, never even start. And as I lock the door and drop the key under the welcome mat, I will not look back. I will not look back.