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"SLOW FIRE VOLUME 3"

Los Angeles

The nosedive into asphalt was your first clue. Worth every dime. A shower of sparks just for you. 

It's not your war to fight. These are not your rules. It's not your money either, counted by ghouls. If they should ask, deny deny deny. An open book of lies lies lies. 

 

Head For The Aisles

It's long way from here all the way back up there. If you could disappear into thinnest of air, it's a shame we would miss you. But in time we'd forget. Senses dull and dismiss you. Photos fade like regrets. 

Got your papers in order, passwords all in a file. You know what's going to whom, as we head for the aisles. This play rounded a corner that I just can't sit through. Heat set on high getting warmer. Soon it'll be only you. 

Still just a couple of loose ends. Taking care of those soon. Got no uses for new friends. Wish I could say I'm immune to sentimental thoughts just like the kind you dismiss. Tying and untying knots, missing the way that we kissed. It's all like a new way of life. Things that we knew given the knife. 

Taking a bow, mopping your brow. It's the only kind you knew. Watch for it now. Repeating your vow to never make it through. You said it had passed, that you had outlasted the worst that life could give. This play was miscast. And now at last you can finally live your way. 

 

Know Your Audience

When you are with friends is when you can feel normal. It's not an act. When you are alone again, baby you lose it. It's just a fact. Why you put your skull into places it shouldn't go, I'll never know. I see by the side of the road you wrapped up, trudging through snow. A lonely wind, a lonely drift. Offer rescinded, the end was swift. 

Left it wide open, this gaping maw where you thought his feelings would be. Bike chain was broken. One fatal flaw that would bring him to one knee. I heard you say, "She's young, and she's gay. There's nothing she cannot do." Coarser by half, the way that we laugh at the waste of talent and true skill. 

When you are with friends is when you can feel normal. It's not an act. When you are alone again, baby you lose it. It's just a fact. Why you put your skull into places it shouldn't go, I'll never know. I see by the side of the road you wrapped up, trudging through snow. A lonely wind, a lonely drift. Offer rescinded, the end was swift. On the night bus to your parents' house. Put a call in to me. 

There will be no fuss. Say your thanks before you go. There will be no trust. It's just something you outgrow. Keeping your wit dry. It's your favorite way to show your distain for crying. An easy game to throw. So build up your tolerance. It's a long night ahead. So know your audience and pick up the thread. 

 

Secrets III

 

Lost At Sea

A bitter cup of tea. A window frames a leafless tree. A book that makes you ache. A thought you just can't shake. So you check your phone for the hundredth time, and you know you've blown your best shot at finding a break from all the voices in your mind that tell you you're too late, that you're lost at sea. 

You can't stop playing with the ring. Your sweater itches and stings. Your nails bitten to the quick. Advice is a nasty trick. So you close your eyes and put down the book. All you thought you despised gets a second look. Every chamber of your exhausted heart tells you tells you're too late, that you're lost at sea. 

 

Black Shirt

It's not the time to show your hand and ask permission. It's not the way I was raised to apologize. And even though your mind's no longer what it once was, I love the way it leaps and changes shape. Holding onto nothing like the only thing that you've got left. Reminded me of something that you said.

Don't make a move. If we're quiet it could pass us by now. We live in fear of another year of this. If we're so smart then how could we have let this happen? It crept inside, and it slowly put down roots. 

Holding onto nothing like the only thing that you've got left. Reminded me of something that I read. You said, "You give me all your advice. It's nothing that you've lived. You tell me that I should play nice. The only thing I can't forgive."

A note, a light, a way that you can't find, a word to calm your mind.